2025-06-09 // 20h45

Dear witness to my words,

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of being misunderstood. As in, why it bothers me.

I think that most often, I don’t want to be misunderstood because I feel like the assumptions they are making may spread as fact and not opinion. The image people have of me guides their perception of my actions.

If the image people have of me is:

Hard-working person who is open about her mental health and traumatic childhood, but doesn’t let that hinder her life

Or

Always the victim – who relies on being bailed out, takes no initiative and will be stuck her whole life

Out the two, which would you have more grace & empathy for?

I’ve been told my whole life that image is everything. I wasn’t allowed to wear anything “grubby” or “comfy” or “lazy”, not outside of the house at least. When we left the house we represented the family. Whether we like it or not, image is important. There’s stereotypes that I can’t avoid if I don’t watch my image.

There’s an image of myself I try to be. In my ideal image of myself, I’m coming from a tough childhood, I’m in control of my life, I’m successful at my company, I’m smart and funny and interesting. I’m kind and a good friend to others.

I’ve been told that fake it ‘til you make it, and to do the tasks for the job you want. So, I try to act that way, like I am these things, all the time, to encourage others to see those things about me. I think it validates that I am on the right track.

However, I know that prejudices and assumptions can impact this. I came from a poor but very loyal family, I know that my rich friends often judge how I spend my money; seeing a lot of it as frivolous, but to me – Money isn’t happiness, but it can buy some joy on a bad day. So, if I need the validation for my perfect image of myself, then their assumptions take something that should be normal and innocent to twist it into confirmation bias against me, I lose a piece of the image, which to me, then discredits it.

I want the image to be true; I don’t want to be unaware of my actions and their meanings.

With highest regards,

Your Author